Benjamin Franklin was a bastard

This article from the New York Post asserts that Benjamin Franklin dreamed up Daylight Savings Time because, "[He] was not a fan of morning light [and] liked to play chess until 3 or 4 in the morning, then sleep until the afternoon."

If Franklin was sleeping in every afternoon and goofing off until 4 AM with his buddies, then he was obviously not taking care of any one of his three children. It was the late 18th century, people—childcare was for wives and nursemaids.

If Franklin and his wife took turns getting the baby settled, as Doug and I do, then I can promise you that DST would not have happened. Franklin would have known that, even to a ten-month old, day time is clearly play time: time to clap two Cheerios together between tiny fingers, time to peek under the bathroom door while Mommy goes pee, time to terrorize the cats, time to pull Daddy's glasses off, time to squeeze yourself under the dining room chairs to get at that lone clump of cat hair that Mommy and Daddy missed while they were vacuuming the hardwoods—TIME FOR ANYTHING BUT SLEEPING.

Sure, the same article also claims that one study found a correlation between DST and energy savings, a drop in traffic accidents, and a reduction in crime, but clearly the scientific community didn't see the need to sink precious grant money into a study that would legitimize the link between DST and sleep deprivation in parents and children.

Most people think that Franklin was a Renaissance Man, but I believe I have just proven he was a lazy, misogynistic moron.